Republic of Toma

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‘Basta’ with the Bad News

The lion sleeps. Today is the start of my 3rd week of Italian lessons-lezioni di italiano- it’s been molto difficile. For 2 weeks I retorno a casa after scoula exhausted. Molte stanca. So many Italian words in my head. Saturday morning I wake early and bad news arrives-yet again, I am getting good at dealing with bad news (a skill set I didn’t particularly want to develop). I open my windows & wave incense around my apartment- driving out any negative energy or bad mojo. The bad news has to end. Basta. I don’t accept any more bad news. From now on only good news is welcome here.  I shut the windows and crawl back into bed and sleep. Fortuny and Fiorella join me under the covers. Fortuny sprawled on his back, his paws stretched over his head the lord of the manor waiting for me to rub his belly while Fiorella tucks herself between my feet curled tightly in a ball. While I avoid the world the cats are in heaven. I’m home in bed with them. I wake and meet a colleague who is in Venice from Piedmont then meander the calles with Janet and Serge eating gelato. My self control was low. I had 2 scoops. It was naughty. Decadent. Delicious. Then Dinner with un amico Francese. The next day I rested, I studied Italian, I caught up on work, 2 amici came around to check on me. And I was early in bed. This morning I didn’t rise early. I woke skipping naked yoga dressing for class. Entering the school we are given a test - it’s a review- we have to write about ourselves in Italian. And suddenly the words which the 2 weeks before were not there arrivano! Scrivo una storia in italiano! After class I still need a glass of wine but it’s celebratory. I didn’t suck today! What’s different between Friday & Monday? I slept. I rested. I did self care. I saw friends. I laughed. I cried.  I recovered. And I’m reminded of the lion. The lion sleeps 15 - 20 hours a day. As a child my dad taught that self care made you weak. I am learning self care makes you strong. Today the bad news was still there but it seems if not surmountable then surely manageable. What’s the worst that can happen? I ask myself. When I think of the answer I realize I will be okay. I’m reminded live not by fear but love


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