I need to get away. Julia said.
I need to see snow. I said. It doesn’t feel like Christmas. Snow will make it feel like Christmas.
And so we went. Cortina d’Ampezzo
I decorated my tree finally last week. I say finally because I put the tree in the stand 2 weeks prior. The spirit of Christmas evaded me. I have good plans for the holidays. Paris. A castle in Normandy. Then Biarritz. Finally -much to the cats amusement- I hung lights. Each ornament has memories. I allow myself to cry then I shut off the carols and listen to Beyoncé. Tears come easily these days. Yesterday on the phone with Andrea. In the grocery store tears took me by surprise. For all the style of the Italians their selection of wrapping paper is rubbish. (Yes I know why buy grocery store paper when you can get handmade on every corner?)

But #justlikethat I thought of mom with her miles of twirled ribbons. I always told her she should get a job wrapping presents. Her wrapping was legendary. She could make a paper sack look pretty. In fact on what must have been a particularly tight Noel- she turned brown paper bags inside out so the logo couldn’t be seen and tied with a enough red ribbon to make the #trimqueen proud. She called it a #cowboychristmasThat was one of the last years we lived on the ranch before she moved to town. It’s my first Christmas without her. #RIP

My 2nd Christmas in a row I won’t be #homefortheholidays. My visa is coming. I only have to wait until March. And in March my sister comes to visit then I’ll go home for the summer. The first time since this pandemic began and the immigration office closed causing the delay in my visa renewal. Home to Oklahoma. My sister and I hung out on Sunday on video phone. Her kids walking in and out. Hi Aunt Toma. She ordering the last of her presents online while I picked out a few as well. But before Sunday comes Saturday and on Saturday I saw snow with Julia. A day trip into the mountains. Lunch in Cortina. Do we choose the reindeer stew or suckling pig? A Prosecco in the sun facing 5 Torre. Another for good luck near the bus stop. Watching the magical winter wonderland unfold …. I saw snow. It’s beginning to feel like Christmas.

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